Elves are everywhere - and it's all Cesperanza's fault!

That Elf Thing.

by Sylvia

He tripped into the moonlit glade cautiously, head alertly tilted as he scanned the surrounding woods for onlookers. All was silent, the only sounds those of the nocturnal forest. The circle of mushrooms beckoned invitingly. For a moment of breathless wonder, the moonlight glinted pure silver on his spectacles; the next moment, Brad Crawford was gone. His thin-lipped, sadistic smirk lingered a mere fraction of a second before following the rest of him.

After another breathless moment, the silvan peace was broken by a rude snort.

"I knew someone who thought about trees and lichen that much couldn't be from Detroit," Schuldig muttered. "We should have guessed when he made me switch to silencers made from recycled tin."

"This is ridiculous." Nagi's fingers were beginning to twitch, signalling his irrepressible longing for an internet connection. He held up valiantly, merely tightening his already convulsive grip on his Palm Pilot. "Crawford can't hold a tune to save his life."

"God loves elves," said Farfarello in a thoughtful tone.

"Impish nectar-sipping elven sprites who spread joy and love wherever they may skip, sure," Schuldig drawled. "Elegantly aloof sidhe, creatures of stern and uncompromising light? You bet. Ice-cold, anal-retentive, murdering sadistic fay with assorted sexual kinks and violent control issues? Hey, whatever. But seriously, elves who never get up before noon, use up all the hot water while screeching the Moody Blues, leave beard stubble in the sink and toe-nail clippings in the living-room, and don't sit down to take a piss? Gotta tell you, I have serious doubts about those, buddy."

Farfarello looked dissappointed.

"What do you mean, sexual kinks?" Nagi inquired suspiciously. Schuldig and Farfarello ignored him. At times like these, it really sucked being the baby of the group.

After a while, he tried again. "So, Crawford's a fairy?"

Schuldig snickered. "Like we needed him to disappear in a cloud of pixie dust to realize that."



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