It is a weighty, age-old
question: If your OTP characters are in
different parts of a grocery store but have visual contact, can A
convey to B – without shouting – that A wants B to pick up some
broccoli?
Quick beta by Solo. Thank you again!
The Broccoli Conundrum
Part 1: Junno
Ryo's picking out a nice piece of ginger when he catches motion from
the corner of his eye. Junno… Junno, standing in line over by the
checkout, waving madly in Ryo's direction.
Stupidly, Ryo can't prevent himself from throwing a quick glance behind
himself. Where there's only a mound of knobby roots, of course, and
some spring onions and leeks off to the side, none of which seem likely
to respond to Junno's signals. Next to Ryo, a couple of women are
picking out sweet potatoes; neither of them are looking Junno's way,
either.
When Ryo looks back at Junno, the dork's grinning broadly, and then
proceeds to roll his eyes in that annoying "you're so silly" way that
never fails to make Ryo scowl.
What!
Junno points towards Ryo and then off to the side, and then follows up
with a one-handed gesture that, that looks – but, no. Seriously, no way
does he mean what it looks like he means. Not in the middle of a
supermarket, with people all around! He wouldn't…
But Junno's rolling his eyes again, with more emphasis than before to
reach "wow you are super-silly" levels. Ryo feels vaguely flustered and
not-so-vaguely confused. Seriously, what the fuck!
Junno steps away from the shopping cart and dips down a little, back
straight, knees bent. Then, abruptly, he jumps up like he's on a
spring, arms shooting up over his head and out. His elbows stick out
sharply as he brings his hands together over his head; he's gesturing
to indicate something like – a broad head, or top, or – branches
sticking out –
Oh – right! Broccoli.
Ryo turns to find the broccoli and looks straight into the astonished
stare of a near-by shopper. She looks like someone's mom, and she's
clutching a small pumpkin to her chest with the air of someone who has
completely forgotten what she was doing before people around her
started going insane.
Everyone in the produce section is staring at Junno, and by extension
at Ryo, and so – Ryo is certain – is every single other person in the
entire damn store.
Ryo grabs several stalks of broccoli (almost dropping his ginger in the
process) and flees. He loiters safely out of sight by the dried fish
for a minute or two before he rallies enough to join Junno at the
checkout.
He can still feel the weight of the stares from all around; he hardly
dares to lift his eyes from their groceries. He's sure he's flushed red
as a beet.
Junno, of course, is happily babbling about some computer game, and how
he wants Ryo to show him how to make takoyaki, and if they have enough
of that really nice wine left for the weekend or if they should stop by
Shinkawa on their way home.
"Why'd you do that weird jumping up thing, anyway?" Ryo grumbles once
they've escaped the store at last. "Broccoli doesn't shoot up from the
ground like some kind of rocket. That's more like – uhm. Asparagus. Or
spring onions. Or stuff."
Junno shrugs and grins. "You got it, didn't you? Just be glad I didn't
want bamboo shoots."
Part 2: Ryo
Ryo's never going shopping at this time of day ever again. Turns out
every single housewife in Tokyo has decided she needs to shop in this
store, on this day, at this exact point in time… which is unfortunately
also the time that Ryo has discovered the fridge is as empty as an
extremely empty thing, and that it shares that trait with every shelf
in the kitchen.
So now Ryo's going to grow old and frail at this damn counter just
because Junno wants fish. Ryo doesn't even like fish. And
where is
the dork, anyway?
Aha – over by the mushrooms. Talking to a complete stranger, who seems
to be explaining the merits of all the different types, to Junno's rapt
and wide-eyed attention. Great, he's probably going to forget all about
the broccoli and come back with more shiitake and maitake and
bunashimeji than they'll be able to eat in a month.
Of course, that's the moment in which it occurs to Ryo that he kind of
forgot to mention the broccoli.
Ryo stares at Junno, willing him to look over. It takes a while because
the mushroom expert is now holding up several packets of mushrooms and
pointing out something or other to Junno, who appears totally riveted.
But it's not like Ryo hasn't got time to spare, and eventually the
mushroom lady stops chatting up other people's boyfriends and moves on.
She isn't even buying any mushrooms, as Ryo can't help but notice.
Junno looks up and smiles at Ryo, gives him a little wave. Ryo smiles
back, mouthes "broccoli", and points at the broccoli with his chin. Or
rather, points in the direction in which he suspects there might be
broccoli, even if he can't see any from where he's standing.
The confusion on Junno's face is plain to see, and only increases when
Ryo repeats the soundless "broccoli" even more exaggeratedly.
Fuck – now the lady in line in front of Ryo is giving him the hairy
eyeball, looking from him to Junno and back again with barely concealed
curiosity.
Oh, screw it.
Ryo glares at Junno and turns away to dig out his cellphone. His face
feels hot, and he concentrates on his phone and refuses to glance up in
case the other people waiting in line are looking at him
weirdly. Broccoli!
Get broccoli, not loads of mushrooms. Idiot!
A few seconds later, Junno's digging his own cellphone from his pocket.
He glances at the display and beams at Ryo briefly before he flips the
phone open to read; then, he makes an exaggerated "a-ha!"-gesture –
complete with pinging a finger against his head as the light inside
comes on – mouthes "broccoli!", and bounds off.
The line in front of Ryo extends into eternity. The smell of the fish
lying on ice behind the counter is beginning to make him feel queasy.
To distract himself, he decides to make another important
point. Also,
don't flirt with strange women like that, what did you think you were
doing?
You're so cute,
Ryo-chan! Junno texts back irrelevantly. Get some
shrimp too.
Ryo gets some shrimp, too.
When they finally make it to the checkout, Junno cannily attempts to
hide a metric ton of mushrooms underneath a bag of senbei. Junno's
canniness needs a lot of work; Ryo gives him an appropriately disgusted
look, and Junno smiles brightly and unabashedly and flutters his
lashes, and Ryo heaves a long-suffering sigh and resigns himself to
mushrooms morning, noon and night for the foreseeable future.
"That was cheating, you know," Junno opines later. "You wimped out,
using the cellphone like that. Totally against the rules. Next time
you'll have to use sign language, or morse code, or –"
"There are no rules, twerp," Ryo says firmly. "Only results count. I
wanted broccoli and I got broccoli, which means I win at life, so shut
up."
Junno laughs at him. In the end, Ryo has to resort to more creative
measures to get him to shut up, but hey. Whatever works.